Insperation...or whatever that means

Tis the season...

..Or so they say.

I kno i have neglected you sweet blog. I know that your pictures have gone to red x's and your readers have gone and fled. Sans one,and he's an ..ick.

I know i must update you for i have things to say...or so i thought.

I have been busy at work. Its been hell and yes,i know that i had promised a steady stream of annoying anecdotes and observances that warranted me making or whatever that means. basically i was supposed to go Brooklyn on someones ass. Well here i am..its the end of the year and my poor sweet cheap therapy has gone unused. Well no more...I have just seen Julie & Julia ( a fab movie) and if lil miss "look at me i'm cooking" can make a blog(and throw out her marriage) i can certainly make an attempt to write and maintain my piece of the INTERNET. I shall dust off my little BLIGDEAS folder (thats BIG BLOG IDEAS rolled into one) and pulla gem or two out. I have to focus. Which of course,is hard to do when you are writing a novel and working full time... Not to mention trying not to kill your father,brother,mother and teh rest of your self absorbed family.

While they are out making babies i shall do the nobler thing.... I shall educate. Or try to at least inform.


My grammar is horrible...my spelling deplorable...my views narrow minded violent and obscene but i can tell you one thing

I am honest.

I'm not here to make money,friends,or fame.

I am here to piss you off.

So fuck it all and on with the show.

Why GI Joe is an Abortion of a Movie

Sometimes you can tell a movie is bad just by the trailer-whether it be too much action or too much plot or it just turns you off.

Well GI JOE was that movie trailer for me. It had too much action, too much plot and generally looked like a Michael Bay abortion of a movie.

Then I saw him

"FANTASTIC?"

Christopher Eccleston. I love me some Eccleston mainly due to the fact he was the 9^th Doctor Who.

I also wanted to see it for nostalgia. GI Joe was one of those thinks I loved as a kid—and

when I mean loved I mean I loved throwing them out the window in my She-ra costume and making my younger brother cry.

Then I saw the cast list and it’s a who’s who wtf casting-

Channing Tatum was tapped as Duke. CHANNING TATUM??? This dude and ex-stripper better known for the Step Up movies….are you fucking kidding me? Way too young and has one face…

BLUE STEEL…

Oh it gets better…

Playing the Baroness Was Sienna Miller-

Who I thought was Kate Bekinsale the whole movie. But even worse I have no idea what she has done besides ruin Jude Law’s marriage…oh well. She did do well running around in a corset and heels with PERFECT HAIR.

Dukes best bud better known as Rip Cord was played by a Wayans brother

….Marlon.. I think…He is one of the twins-the ugly one. Who is known for…being a Wayans brother and was supposed to be the comic relief but not only did was not funny he stalked then only female Joe the whole movie.

"Gowai,Stalker! Oh wait yur like Edward. I rove u!!"

I have no idea who she was but Scarlet was very inept at her duties and looked perfect at all times in her corset and heels-she had a MOTHERFUCKING crossbow.

Bitches doesn’t get a gun apparently, we get cross bows.

Rounding out the cast was
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as heavy duty.

"I will break you"

He’s more known for being Mr. Echo in the show LOST or as Adebise from the show OZ. The latter being one of my all time favorite television shows. I couldn’t get over the fact that he didn’t take Channing and bend him over a sink and butt fuck him with his little headphones on. I would have paid twelve fiddy to see that!

Saïd Taghmaoui who was Breaker-

who one of my friends thought was John Legueizamo the WHOLE MOVIE. I don’t know what movie this guy was in but he usually plays Arab terrorist #2. Sad. He actually did a good job acting wise.

Arnold Vosloo, the guy from the Mummy was also around an

d of course since he was kind of cool- so they have him as less screen time as p

ossible.

Ray Park who is the coolest stunt man EVER was Snake Eyes.

He needed to be on screen more. SERIOUSLY.

And a Drunk Dennis Quaid as General Hawk.

Why Dennis why? Was Adam Baldwin indisposed? Was Michael Ironside still pissed that they didn’t pay him more for Terminator-Salvation? Did Bruce Campbell say FUCK NO,EVEN I HAVE STANDARDS?

I digress.

And then there was the Cobra Commander himself- played by Jason Gorden-Levitt.

"Not the cobra commander but you get the idea.

That’s the kid from Third Rock from the sun folks, who apparently could act. But not in this movie.

He looked more like Darth Vader with a Severus Snape Wig who whined the whole movie and had kind of a thing for his sister. WHAT?

And this chick. As Shitty RedShirt #1. WOST ACTRESS OF THE MOVIE!

In retrospect looking at the cast list I should have run away screaming. Buyt I didn’t. Instead I got really drunk and went to go see it with semi suspicious Dr Who pals.

I made a Face book event and told people this movie looked bad. I remember watching Mirrors and Ghost Ship on the sauce and laughed my ass off. I thought I would laugh instead:

This movie made me sober up

Watching it I thought—this movie. its so familiar..Oh yea Team America:World Police! This move was TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE. WITH SHITTER CGI! Here is the plot folks- yes this is the plot:

SPOILERSPOILERSPOLIERS

The movie starts with giving us some bacround on Ellecestons characters anscentor who was a double arms dealer and then the French punished him by wearing a mask.---*sigh @ Doctor Doom rip off*-so fast forward to the present day and Destro (as he later is known as) is trying sell NATO a weapon of Nanomites (Star Trek TNG rip off) that eat metal. And NATO eats this up (pun fucking intended) and want some. What could go wrong with the incompetent NATO having NEW IMPROVED WOMD’s?? And of course Duke and his annoying friend Rip cord are set to transport the warheads (4) with three hummers, two choppers and a Truck. Good job guys. The US Army is made of Dee dee dee’s. Well Destro, of course double crosses them (cliché) and the Baroness, who seems has a history with duke (more cliché). Then we meet the Joe’s, which Duke wants to join and his Mary-sue antics make him part of the team. Back acting and crappy plot continues the movie is a crappy CGI random explosion chicks in tight outfits extravaganza. The whole plot of the movie is how Destro wants to rule the world by fear (and is so Ronrey and Roves the Baroness) but of course we find out in several flashbacks-that the Baroness was engaged to Duke and how he promised to take care of her brother (who became the Cobra Commander) and more flashbacks we see that Snake Eyes, who never says a word -was a scrappy Irish Orphan lost and stealing food in Japan (oh how Empire of the Sun of you) and is quickly taken in with a Chinese Karate Monastery (oh kk how ) and of course Storm Shadow-a Cobra in training- has a problem with this.

Oh god the flash backs are retarded and come at the worst times-Ever. They hurt my brain ya’ll!

That’s the whole movie. I kept thinking in my head: “Why does Michael Bay keep making shitty movies?” and then quickly remembered- THIS ISN”T A MICHAEL BAY MOVIE. This movie isn’t even 1980’s movie violence. And what was worse was the acting. When the best acting comes from a Wayans brother-you have to wonder. Blue steel, un-realistic women’s attire and a drunk Dennis Quaid.

RUN AWAY RUN AWAY.

Trent Reznor is a weenie

Trent Reznor is a weenie.

There i said it.

I have been meaning to say it for awhile but didn't want to stir up trouble. But its too late isn't it. Apparently, I was banned from NIN.com. Now, I'm not bitter. As a matter of fact, I am rather relieved. I have been lurking for months with nothing to say- and now i don't need to say a thing.

You see Trent Reznor-who is the sound and main voice behind Nine Inch Nails- decided it was a good idea to go headfirst into social media.

He found this little thing called Twitter and even met a lady on there. But people had hard opinions because private became public.

Anyone who had a difference of opinion- was swiftly banned.

Then there came Metal Sludge.

Its a groupie site that prides itself on gossip and snark.

Some shit they have said its screwed up but who knew the King of Industrial music had thin skinned. Come on dude. Its just opinions.

So pimp decides that he doesn't like the snark and gets peoples IP address' and bans the members on there who are members of NIN.com

---Isn't this an invasion of privacy?

I mean,its not like we are posting peoples address' and telling other fans to slit thier wrists- all things TR has done.

Its a separate fucking site!

He has recently quit twitter and taken his fiancée with him. Which is ok, because she was making an ass out of herself.

Trent,you are a grown ass man who claims privacy yet breaches it.Thats a little hypocritical.You don't know me. If you were to pull that bitchassnes in front of me i would tell you a thing or two.I'm not a coward. I'm not a troll either.

GROW THE HELL UP.

Seriously.

And tell you're fiance to put on some underwear.

Just a friendly suggestion.

I'm still goin to listen to you're music but if your rather have fans who would cut NIN into their boobs or make dresses that resemble you're album covers- so be it. You're the one losing street cred by letting her lead you around by the balls. And no,just because I like your music doesn't mean i am going to buy a Ming and Ping or West Indian Girl album. And there is no way in hells bells am i going to buy her solo project.

And even though she compares herself to Yoko ono,Yoko Ono she is not.
Yoko at least was a shrewed businesswoman and a talented artist.

I like you're music-NIN or solo with a piano.

I'm not going to support them,I rather much get a new NIN album you'll write when she goes back to her exbf Francis Ten.

Because you're still a weenie.

And thats all i have to say.

Weenie

The world wide FAIL

You got to admit. Its really fun living in todays times. You could live in your home,work in your home and have everything delivered to your doorstep-whether it be food,clothes,shamwows or even Christmas presents.

FUCK BLACK FRIDAY

But I remember the good old days-when you were outside and people had to leave a message and I did my homework on paper. Remember paper?

I do. And i remember books too. Books you had to go to the library for and schlep home.

And the phones bill was horrible!

I remember that.

DO you?

Do you remember when you celebs lives were kinda private and didn't go everywhere just to make fools of themselves by jumping on couches?

or on Twitter?

Before Princess Diana crashed into a wall?

When downloading music was uncool?

Log out

Walk out the door

Live life

and believe me



---I bet they even have an APP for that!

I tried to like Twilight but i gave up

Once upon a time girl met boy and girl fell in love Boy was dangerous. He had a heart that didn’t beat and their love was doomed.

-And that was a better synopsis for what the “Twilight” series is.

Its pure crap

Here’s the synopsis from Wikipedia:

Twilight is a series of four vampire-based fantasy/romance novels by the American author Stephenie Meyer. It follows the life of Isabella "Bella" Swan, a teenager who moves to Forks, Washington, and finds her life radically changed when she falls in love with a vampire named Edward Cullen.

Let me break it down- Bella is your typical emo whiny ass punk teenager that lives in bumblefuck Washington because her mother kicked her out to marry some new dude. GREAT HUH? She goes to live with her clueless town sheriff of a father and then meets the handsomest boy in school- who just happens to be a vampire.

And of course he falls for her.

Gag gag gag.

(yeas seriously look how "happy" she looks)

If it weren’t for cute Jacob Black- the American Indian/ Werewolf, the books would be a total Mormon propaganda.

I mean Book 1 was ok. 2 was better. 3 was almost good---but 4!!! ARE YOU FOR REAL??

I’m gonna ruin it for you---after three books of this “doomed” love. Bella, surviving as the vessel of the child she is carrying for Edward(Mormon ideal),must be sacrificed and then becomes the uber mary sue she has been predisposed to come. Worse off-cute Jacob, who’s now full Wolf-imprints himself upon Rennesme the new cherub child from hell.

What’s imprinting? —its an involuntary response in which a werewolf finds his soul mate.

A BABY. THE GUY IMPRINTS HIMSELF UPON A BABY.

This is a whole mess of crap. And whats worse?

Teens are eating this up like no ones business.(I’ll write about this later)

Um what?

( Hot Topic sale?)

What happened to the Goths?

You know the kidd in the corner who were reading H.P Lovecraft listeing to Joy Division,Depeche Mode,The Cure,Tool or NIN?(seriously. I wanna rant about this later)

Instead they are listing to My Chemical Romance and reading this literary diarrhea.

Stephanie Meyer step away from the lab top and go back to the Learning Annex and learn how to write.

Better yet take a plane and go to England and sit there and listen to JK Rowling..

I cringe every time I hear these books being compare with the masterful literary works of the Harry Potter series. JK Rowling, abliet humble ,knows how to fucking write.

I dare say Stephanie Meyer is sitting somewhere (when not caring for her three kids) trolling fanfic.net and live journal for ideas for the next book.

Seriously ,whats next for Edwardeo and Belliet? They are already have had the oldest Vampire coven in the Volitiri come after them….

Bella has already fulfilled her duty as a woman and given Edward a child…

…wait wait…

How did a UNDEAD VAMPIRE impregnate an alive Human Teenager?

And why didn’t her father smack the shit out of her when she said she was getting married to Edward.

Am I the only one that thinks 18 yr olds SHOULD NOT get married LET ALONE have children.

Bella has a death wish from the moment she meets Edward…seriously. In the Second book “New moon” he even abandons her so that she can have a normal life.

INSTEAD she pines and mourns for him and goes so far as to attempt suicide.

WHAT KIND OF BS IS THIS.

MORMON BS THAT’S WHAT

She is basically all about her man.

You know I take that back- I think Anne Rice could teach Meyers a thing or two about

vampire writing and then she should see Josh Whedon about strong woman.

Buffy never needed anyone but herself.

Bella needs to stand up for herself.

Perhaps the next books should be about Bella traveling the world getting to know what it is to be a vampire and not a wife and mother. Because if she isn’t happy of know what she is capable of the whole marriage thing won’t work out.

I saw this t-shirt at Comic Con and it was truly fitting. If Josh Whedon wrote Twilight it would have been 7 words

edit: seriously what is this " " Its made me edit my blog like three times!

Nevermind the Cowboys-Where have all the PUNKS gone to?

I became a teen when industrial hit in the 90’s and it was wonderful. Grunge and Industrial were canceling out all the 80’s power hair groups and each person accented themselves with personal style to match each personality. People wore flannel, ripped jeans, and baggy clothes not because it was stylish-but because it was cheap and easily available.

( I miss Kurt)

(and by him i mean Chris Noviselic's hair)



I had a pair of Green Doc Martens. I loved those shoes. I wore them out and just recently bought a red pair and they get me to every concert. It’s my signature.

(I have talked about them b4)

The new punk/Industrial/grunge fan paid direct homage to the punks that came before us in the early 80’s. They were dangerous. They lived in slums and squats. Fought in circle pits. Lived. Metal face, colored hair, sex. Drugs Drugs Drugs. Danger.

Sid & Nancy love.

They were feared.

But they are dead. All dead. All of them.

Tattoos are now mainstream. Punk/Rock has gone commercial.

Don’t believe me? Check out Ed Hardy- its mainstream high end rock gear that emulates the southern California rock scene.

NO NO NO

YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SMILE..GAH!

The Hipsters COME from the SOCAL Rock scene. No one gets pain like the NY/Cleveland Rock crowds. NO ONE.

It’s the snow and the wind.

Coming from the New York rock scene, I call bullshit. You can’t bottle fame, brew glory or even put a stopper in death.

Even our cathedral was taken down: CBGB’s.

Its gone.

Ripped out of its home on the Bowery and taken to VEGAS for an attraction.

The place where the Ramones, Blondie and Patti Smyth got their starts-its gone.

But don’t despair. Go to Vegas. Take a look around fake NEW YORK and go to CBGB’s.

ITS NOT REAL.

The place I went to was dangerous. Overfilled with Goths, punks and evil doers who didn’t give a shit about a girl in a pit or the pee on the floor. Places where the bathroom was more dangerous then the dance floor. It was loud and crud.

That’s what Rock & Roll is SUPPOSED to be.

It’s a neck tattoo, dirty clothes, stale beer and a hot guitar.

But it’s gone now-replaced by the Jonas Brothers.

SO where have all the punks gone? The rebels?

Dead?

Do punks go to heaven? And is Jim Morrison there-cuz that’s where I want to be.

But you can’t get there by cutting yourself and crying for attention-emo punk. That’s not real. Reading twilight and emphasizing with BELLA is not Punk, Goth or even Rock and Roll. It’s a façade.

You have to get there by losing a few teeth, getting beaten in the pit, bar fight or two, making friends/making enemies. Living,roadtrips,loving.

Back in the van, lets go to Philly for a concert.

No money? Spare Change!

No Hotel? Parks and parking lots! Rest stops!

No food? Lets share!

Do me a favor kid-wash out your black hair, put away the eyeliner and step away from Seventeen.

That’s not Punk.

Do- get something old, something borrowed and something U and put that on. Accentuate with something cheap.

Ruffle up your hair

Listen to the Ramones or something Punk.

The Clash perhaps

And not just the hits, I mean the whole album.

LISTEN

Or the Smiths

Or Joy Division/New Order

And say FUCK YOU to the establishment

And GET THE FUCK OUT to the new whiny hipster culture.

Be the Punk.

Don’t let the punk be you.

AND ROCK ON

In defense of Sylar

Its been a long time since superheroes have gotten a show on prime time TV and for the past four years I have been trying so hard to keep all sense of respect for Heroes.

I watch it for Sylar.



Yes Sylar alias Gabriel Grey alias that dude who kills people and does something icky with their brains so he takes their powers.

I think he’s a compelling character that is wonderfully acted by the talented Zachary Quinto-who’s also nice to look at.

I have sat there through many a season rooting for Sylar-hoping he once and for all, kills that damn cheerleader.

Why would anyone root for this guy anyway? He’s a killer!

Well for one thing, besides the first season of heroes- the show has been pure shit. Characters have changed sides more then I change my underwear(and that’s A LOT),the plot is never coherent and what’s worse is that some of the acting is miserable.

For example- why is Ali Larter STILL on the show- she plays the exact same character but THREE times-as three different sisters.

Or Maya Herrera as portrayed by Dania Ramirez. This character was one of the fan’s most hated yet she was allowed to live and walk away and yet fan favorite Elle Bishop as played by Veronica Mars herself Kristen Bell, was given a gruesome and horrid death.
Then there are characters that disappeared- Like Claude Raines or The Haitian.

Clearly the producers of Heroes don’t know wtf they are doing.

But back to Sylar.

So far they have brought us to the pint where we don’t know if he is good or bad. And now they have given him the ultimate lame ass ending--- Posing as Nathan “numb nuts” Petrelli. Oh and look who is back—Ali Larter as some lame ass character that is coping with her powers, yet again.

SO I have this question: DO the Heroes writes consist of a group of chimpanzees throwing darts?

Because it seems that all the plots are dated and/or recycled. Plot holes are the size of my Aunt Gertrude’s ass and characters are switching sides faster Mayor Bloomberg during an election year.

Please. Its neither compelling nor suspenseful television to allow a character to mope about some girl all season just to kill her off and then make him completely forget about her.

Matt Parkman-I’m looking at you.

Don't get me started on the BS that Hiro Nakamura has to go through. Why does he NOW get nosebleeds?HMMM? 4 yrs and nothing but NOW he gets to get an brain aneurysm


God damn it! What happened to this show?

Is Tim Kring in his basement wishing he were JJ Abrams thus forgetting to map out what the hell will happen on this show.

In my opinion- the only good character they have left is Sylar. People know he is bad and people don’t care.

People don’t even care about Peter Petrelli and how he talks like Rocky Balboa.


No one cares.

NBC. Do us a favor-cancel Heroes. It’ll be better if it were an online comic- maybe then it will gain its respect back, otherwise it’ll drag on for another season without guidance or viewers.

Pathetic really- it could have been great.