I tried to like Twilight but i gave up

Once upon a time girl met boy and girl fell in love Boy was dangerous. He had a heart that didn’t beat and their love was doomed.

-And that was a better synopsis for what the “Twilight” series is.

Its pure crap

Here’s the synopsis from Wikipedia:

Twilight is a series of four vampire-based fantasy/romance novels by the American author Stephenie Meyer. It follows the life of Isabella "Bella" Swan, a teenager who moves to Forks, Washington, and finds her life radically changed when she falls in love with a vampire named Edward Cullen.

Let me break it down- Bella is your typical emo whiny ass punk teenager that lives in bumblefuck Washington because her mother kicked her out to marry some new dude. GREAT HUH? She goes to live with her clueless town sheriff of a father and then meets the handsomest boy in school- who just happens to be a vampire.

And of course he falls for her.

Gag gag gag.

(yeas seriously look how "happy" she looks)

If it weren’t for cute Jacob Black- the American Indian/ Werewolf, the books would be a total Mormon propaganda.

I mean Book 1 was ok. 2 was better. 3 was almost good---but 4!!! ARE YOU FOR REAL??

I’m gonna ruin it for you---after three books of this “doomed” love. Bella, surviving as the vessel of the child she is carrying for Edward(Mormon ideal),must be sacrificed and then becomes the uber mary sue she has been predisposed to come. Worse off-cute Jacob, who’s now full Wolf-imprints himself upon Rennesme the new cherub child from hell.

What’s imprinting? —its an involuntary response in which a werewolf finds his soul mate.

A BABY. THE GUY IMPRINTS HIMSELF UPON A BABY.

This is a whole mess of crap. And whats worse?

Teens are eating this up like no ones business.(I’ll write about this later)

Um what?

( Hot Topic sale?)

What happened to the Goths?

You know the kidd in the corner who were reading H.P Lovecraft listeing to Joy Division,Depeche Mode,The Cure,Tool or NIN?(seriously. I wanna rant about this later)

Instead they are listing to My Chemical Romance and reading this literary diarrhea.

Stephanie Meyer step away from the lab top and go back to the Learning Annex and learn how to write.

Better yet take a plane and go to England and sit there and listen to JK Rowling..

I cringe every time I hear these books being compare with the masterful literary works of the Harry Potter series. JK Rowling, abliet humble ,knows how to fucking write.

I dare say Stephanie Meyer is sitting somewhere (when not caring for her three kids) trolling fanfic.net and live journal for ideas for the next book.

Seriously ,whats next for Edwardeo and Belliet? They are already have had the oldest Vampire coven in the Volitiri come after them….

Bella has already fulfilled her duty as a woman and given Edward a child…

…wait wait…

How did a UNDEAD VAMPIRE impregnate an alive Human Teenager?

And why didn’t her father smack the shit out of her when she said she was getting married to Edward.

Am I the only one that thinks 18 yr olds SHOULD NOT get married LET ALONE have children.

Bella has a death wish from the moment she meets Edward…seriously. In the Second book “New moon” he even abandons her so that she can have a normal life.

INSTEAD she pines and mourns for him and goes so far as to attempt suicide.

WHAT KIND OF BS IS THIS.

MORMON BS THAT’S WHAT

She is basically all about her man.

You know I take that back- I think Anne Rice could teach Meyers a thing or two about

vampire writing and then she should see Josh Whedon about strong woman.

Buffy never needed anyone but herself.

Bella needs to stand up for herself.

Perhaps the next books should be about Bella traveling the world getting to know what it is to be a vampire and not a wife and mother. Because if she isn’t happy of know what she is capable of the whole marriage thing won’t work out.

I saw this t-shirt at Comic Con and it was truly fitting. If Josh Whedon wrote Twilight it would have been 7 words

edit: seriously what is this " " Its made me edit my blog like three times!