Who needs those eyebrows anyway? December 11th 2010 Rammstein show.

I have never been afraid of the dark consciousness. The dark passenger. The id. Being a graduate with a B. A. in Forensic Psychology, I actually welcomed the weird, wild and often sadistic parts of ones brains.I read about it,studied it and obsessed on it. For many years, I listened to Nine Inch Nails, delighting in the evil and twisted lyrics Trent chose to give me. But what I didn’t know, there was a German metal group that had evil lyrics, sadistic riffs, pulsating beats all done with a tad bit of dark humor.

Rammstein.

The name conjures up the dark images of German debauchery. Du Hast. Ich Will. Sex.death. Rock & Roll.

And I loved every minute of it. But I wanted o see them live. Unfortunately, even though they were huge in Europe-they didn’t cross the pond. And of course, I wasn’t in any financial state to go see them. That is until they said they were coming to the Garden

THE GARDEN. Madison Square. Was I happy? Fuck I was ecstatic.

But I needed to get a ticket first and since there were tons of Rammstein fans worldwide that wanted to see them- I was in for a fight. But first, knowing how certain bands are- I joined the fanclub. I hoped there was a presale. There was no announcement of a presale so I tried my hand at getting a ticket. Unfortunately for me, every scalper in NY already had that idea and scooped up any good seat. I got something the 300 level. Seeing the glass half full-I was glad to be in the building. But much to my delight, Rammstein had something in store for its fans. There would be a lotto for better seats-and I won a pit ticket.

Rewind to 2008,the NIN Lights in the sky tour, I fought and clawed in every pit. I danced and sang. I tried to catch a tambourine. It was fun. That is, until dress girl opened her mouth. Some crazy bitch in a NIN inspired dress always managed to get in front of me. That means I needed to be early but not too early.

But the concert was in December and I knew that it was going to be cold. And it was. I arrived at 9:00 am to frigid 30 degrees and all I wanted to do was pass out in Penn station. But I didn’t. I looked in front of me and of course there was a bunch of extreme fans there since God knows when. My mind conjured up pictures of that dress girl and I shuddered. So instead of launching an all out assault- I made friends. The couple from Minnesota, the girls from Chicago, the kid from Chicago, the coworkers from Upstate, some locals including my favorite Armenian ever and of course my BFF Nicole- and with that we became the merry few. We chatted, sang, ate, hung out and held peoples places in line. I went to the bar for some drinks and came back warmer than ever.

Even MSG security was awesome- and I was surprised. 

Some camera crew came by and asked people questions- they asked me to sing Reise,Reise-and I got flustered. So flustered I managed to say “Something, Something-German German.” And then sang the chorus to Pussy. All I wanted to do was die, but I know that’s probably gonna be on the DVD so nyeh. I learned later that the whole thing was being taped for a DVD. Awesome?

We were herded into MSG like cattle and we ran into the pit where I took my place in front of the lead guitarist.

The lights when low and the dream began:

Set list:

Rammlied

Waidmanns Heil

Buckstabu

Weisses Fleisch

Feuer Frei!

Weiner Blut

Fruhling in Paris

Ich tu dir Weh

Du Riechst so Gut

Benzin

Links 234

Du Hast

Pussy

Encore:

Sonne

Haifisch

Ich Will

Second Encore

Engel

The dream was over as quick as it had become. At the end of it, I was toasted, exhausted, soaking wet and covered in confetti. I remember in my dream the Guitarist locking eyes with me the whole show and didn’t let go. 

Till who?

I saw the pussy cannon, the Fire Frei masks,the burning of the crew member during Benin, the Engel wings and the Weiner Blut dolls. And the lead singer gave us his gun during Wiedmanns Heil. I wasn’t afraid. 

The lead singer grabbed your hand and the band guided you on a narrow path that they had skillfully crafted and which was conceived and reared in Europe. It was hot up front. But I saw all that I had imagined a Rammstein show to be. Paul Landers, rhythm guitar, acted like a robot. 

Oliver Reidel, bassist, jammed so hard I didn’t think he was in Rammstein but in Pantera. Christoph Schneider, ascended to heaven on his platform with his drums and brought the audience with him. The Keyboardist, Christopher “Flake” Lorenz allowed himself to play the fool as he was tortured by Till and danced his heart out. 

My sweet, sexual and egotistical guitarist Richard Z. Kruspe, played and pranced around as to try to steal the spotlight. He did, in my heart and in my ears. 

And then there was Till Lindemann, the ringleader, who like no other has titillated and scared many a woman and man into giving him what he wants. He commands your attention. And you give it, willingly. Ignoring the well crafted lyrics of sadism, sexuality and even death. He wants you to hate him. He wants to rip you apart. Stick barb wire up your urethra. But does he ? No. And do you want it. Yes...

Like a woman falling for a serial killer, you ask for more.

The music swelled in my ears and in my heart…and then they were gone. So I let them go, thanking them for their music and their fire.

Please come back to NYC. Please come back to Amerika.

For Lanaia and Anne Marie. Even though, our paths have separated-I will always be grateful for showing me Rammstein. And sometimes, in the dark, I can still hear us laughing and singing along.

Also, for Nicole- who eventhough doesn't know Rammstein, went with me anyway and headbanged along with me.

Naomi Campbell shouldn't be a cop.

I have a bone to pick with Television today. It’s mainly about its depiction of police officers. I want to know who in their right mind decided that cops are supposed to be pretty people.

Seriously Rizzoli and Isles? Castle? The Closer?

I’m sorry I have never met a female detective who is young and pretty as these women are. I mean even Mariska Hargitay of Law and Order SVU looks likes she has been through the ringer. But she is a New York cop and “expected” to be glamorous. A US Marshall on Justified has to be thin and beautiful.

I’m sorry to bust a bubble but I have seen real U.S. Marshalls and I have met real FBI agents and none of them were “lookers”. They were intelligent, official looking, hard workers and did what they did best- getting the bad guys. I am not saying that all Law enforcement officials are ugly, not by a long shot. I am just saying that the Hollywood depiction of it is all wrong.

First off- Training. It depend on what Law Enforcement branch you work for but all law enforcement training takes a lot of dedication and hard work. In the case of local law enforcement, it takes a little less training but not as less of dedication and hard work.

Scondly – time. I am sorry; to be a Detective it takes years and years of footwork as a patrol officer. And then you have to test in order to even be considered to become a detective. And even if you get your shield- there are ranks within ranks.

Thirdly- Attitude. Yeah, we all know that cops have this “blue wall of silence” in which they protect their own. So if they see a cop/detective/what have you making rash judgments and putting people at risk-you think he or she would have been weeded out?

My question is this: What in recent society has changed that now demands that we see our law enforcement to be portrayed as thin, model like, young, and angry things?

Is it the fact that Americans are getting fatter?

Or are we getting vainer?

In conclusion, Naomi Campbell was never meant to be a cop. If she tried running in her 6 inch heels she would fall flat on her face or even worse, get herself into a heap of trouble. That’s another thing when a woman cop fires her gun or gets kidnapped- its ok the next week. Yea my mom got murdered-but I am ok with that (Castle). I’m sorry, coming from psychological standpoint-shit like that stays with you. This is why I love Law and Order SVU- because that shit has stayed with that character. All I ask in my police shows-there is some realism. Every cop is not a beautiful princess in disguise. Some shouldn’t see the light of day. Some have way too many donuts. And these are the cops on my case. Would you rather have Cindy Crawford on your case or Cagney and Lacy?

Somewhere....Under the Sea

Somewhere,Under the Sea

Most people don’t know that I am a gamer( not the stupid Gerard Butler movie of the same name though). Even though I honed my skills on Mario, as I get older I enjoy first person shooters especially if they involve zombies/crazy people. Another thing people don’t know about me is the fact that I am in love with America from the 20’s-40’s. You say Art Deco I drool. You play Frank Sinatra,I squee. Sorry,I have a thing for old blue eyes. I also have a thing for Jazz and Swing. Add to the fact that I am fond of marine bology and all things Marine. So imagine if you will a first person shooter, with crazed humans and set in a late 40’s era dystopian society under the sea! It’s called Bioshock and its one of the best games I have ever played. The original game came out in ’07 but the sequal came out last week.

I beat that game in three days. Needless to say I am exhausted and want to start playing again.

Accourding to Wiki:
BioShock is set during 1960, in Rapture, a fictional underwater dystopian city.[31][33] The history of Rapture is learned by the player through audio recordings as he explores the city. Rapture was envisioned by the Randian business magnate Andrew Ryan, who wanted to create a laissez-faire state to escape increasingly oppressive political, economic, and religious authority on land. The city was secretly built in 1946 on a mid-Atlantic seabed, utilizing submarine volcanoes to provide geothermal power.[34] Scientific progress flourished in Rapture, leading to rapid developments in engineering and biotechnology thanks in part to the brilliant scientists that Ryan brought to the city. One such advancement was ADAM, stem cells harvested from a previously unknown species of sea slug, which were discovered by Dr. Bridgette Tenenbaum to have the ability to regenerate damaged tissue and rewrite the human genome. Tenenbaum joined with businessman and mobster Frank Fontaine to create the plasmid industry, which offered superhuman physical enhancements to its customers. Tenenbaum found that ADAM could be mass-produced by implanting the slugs in the stomachs of young girls ("Little Sisters"), taken from orphanages founded by Fontaine.
As time passed, the gap between rich and poor increased. Frank Fontaine established charity organizations to support the underclass (an act antithetical to Ryan's philosophy). His motives were far from altruistic; his ultimate goal was to use his charity organizations to manipulate the underclass. He also established a smuggling operation to supply citizens with forbidden items from the surface, such as religious material. These, along with his control of the plasmid industry, made him immensely powerful. He tried to overthrow Ryan, but the revolt was violently crushed and Fontaine was reportedly killed. Ryan seized control of Fontaine's plasmid business. Within a few months, a new figure named Atlas rose as the leader of the disgruntled lower class. On New Year's Eve of 1959, Atlas and his ADAM-infused followers began a new revolt against Ryan that spread throughout Rapture.[35] Ryan in turn began splicing his own forces, and his paranoia had reached such a level he was hanging dozens of people, mostly innocent, in Rapture's main square. In order to solve ADAM shortages, the Little Sisters were mentally conditioned to wander the city and extract ADAM from the dead, recycling it into raw ADAM in their bellies after swallowing it. "Big Daddies", enhanced and mentally sterilized humans in armored diving suits, were created by Dr. Suchong, the scientist behind many plasmids, to protect the Little Sisters in their work.[31]
A drawback of ADAM is that a user must take regular infusions or suffer mental and physical degeneration. As the war disrupted production and supply, every ADAM user in the city eventually went violently insane. By the time the player arrives, only a handful of non-mutated humans survive in barricaded hideouts.(wikipedia)

When I saw there was a sequel I immediately thought how the hell are they gonna top that? Well they did. NOW you are one of the Big daddies! And you thought that was gonna be easy? You still have plasmids and all kinds of weapons but you also get the Big Daddy Drill but you have to beat “Big Sisters” which are hard as all hell. I was in love. And what’s better is that now you can play multiplayer online! I’m not going to spoil the plot of the second one but I can tell you it’s a great game.

John, I am only dancing.

            Well as you noticed I am kind of an asshole and I procrastinate like a mofo. I had promised at Christmas that I would post more but here I am in Feburary,still unorganized. I have even joined tumblr-no reason. Just because.

This past weekend was Valentines day. Another shit for brains holiday that is forced upon the American public under the guise of love and blah blah blah.

Listen, I can buy chocolates that will make me fat and flowers that will wither and die on their own. And if I get jewelry I automatically suspect that you have been cheating on me. I mean look, you just got me some bankrupatble gift for Christmas and now I have to demand something else? What? Is that really necessary ladies?

I mean I am all about getting gifts but that makes me kind of a bitch to expect two big things(unless he just proposed and that means I get to torture him more) in the span of two months.

And what do you get your man for Valentines day?

A tie? A car? A baby?

Ugh shopping for your significant other for this bs holiday is worse than getting him a gift for Christmas. I mean you can’t just give him ANOTHER 100$ gift certificate to Hooters. It’s supposed to be about a couple. And what if you get fuzzy handcuffs and a whip and he isn’t into that shit. There goes your relationship down the toilet. And if you give him a fleshlight- you won’t ever see him

Advice I can give is this- Forget the expensive or inappropriate gifts for Valentines day.

Guys- take your girls shopping and give her spa certificates. Girls like spas. We like shopping. We like candy and flowers too but the end result of a restful day of beating people up for a pair if shoes are always worth it.

Gals-Don’t get your man anything. Cook him a good meal and give him a blowjob. There I said it. Men like two things from women- food and sex. That’s it. I’m serious. You know how surprised he will get when you go down on him without his usual “butter up” routine? This goes especially well for married couples. Marriage usually means the end of the BJ. So give your gift that keeps on giving!

And for my gays- you know what the deal is. Straight people need help. Go on with your bad selves.

That is all.