Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Cheer....comes in a bottle





Its Christmas Day.

The stockings have been taken down. The tree is dry and brittle but the cat still likes it. There is wrapping paper everywhere. The youngest isn't even playing with his/her toys---they are playing with the box it came in. The yule log is on the TV but no one is paying attention because Dad is falling asleep because the kids woke him up at 6 am. Mother is in the kitchen,yawning herself awake after popping a xanax or two as she makes some coffee. She attempts to make some sort of food that will hold the children till thier granparents,who still hate her btw,get there.

It is then that i realize-Christmas is forced family interaction. The people that never talk to you year 'round, decide that its in your best interest to come over their house so they can get drunk and give you presents that you haven't asked for nor want. Who thinks its a good idea to give baked goods or homemade gifts for christmas? Not I! Then,they look down on you for the presents that you went into debt for. No one cares. Is it time for the dinner,where most fires and/or fights start? Why yes...Another round of Egg nog for Uncle Tony.


...I wake up in a cold sweat. I haven't been a fan of Christmas for the reasons above. People call me a grinch...Well i never said i disked Christmas- I just don't want it forced fed to me from the day after Halloween. Christmas is about joy,giving and the miracle of the Birth of Christ( or Winter Yule fest if you are pagan) You are forced to say "Happy Holidays" because you don't want to offend someone but yet all there is on TV and everywhere is SANTA SANTA SANTA. What about Hanukkah? What about Kwanzaa? What about Yule?

I say this- If you think that you are forced to go to your in-laws for Christmas- Don't go. If you are single-screw your parents. Make this holiday about joy and giving rather then receiving. Its ok to buy presents on the internet. Black Friday is just a scam anyway- I don't feel it to be necessary to get up at the butt crack of dawn to wait outside a store and then trample people for that one hot toy. If your kid is screaming for the new toy of the year,chances are- they don't deserve it.

And don't even think of giving a child an animal for Christmas. main reason- they will be bored with it after three seconds and then who gets to clean up after the animal-thats right YOU.


And before i hear you say "Oh you are just a single girl who is grinchy because she has no family" Not so.

Yesterday i spent the day with my father,who sometimes annoys me. Together we cooked Christmas dinner and I even sprung for Breakfast. We watched UNChristmasy things and talked. Yes,I had some coquito,but still. Dinner was wonderful and he gave me something that i would want: George Carlin's last book "Last Words"

Tomorrow i get to make a holiday with friends,whose mom is generously cooking and we will be exchanging presents and breaking out British Dvd's. We do this every weekend but hey,exchanging gifts and having fun with friends is nice.

Today,however,Its all about inner reflection- What i am thankful for and how I am so un stressed. I'm even listening to NonTraditional Christmas music- The Venture Brothers and South Park. HA!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Insperation...or whatever that means

Tis the season...

..Or so they say.

I kno i have neglected you sweet blog. I know that your pictures have gone to red x's and your readers have gone and fled. Sans one,and he's an ..ick.

I know i must update you for i have things to say...or so i thought.

I have been busy at work. Its been hell and yes,i know that i had promised a steady stream of annoying anecdotes and observances that warranted me making or whatever that means. basically i was supposed to go Brooklyn on someones ass. Well here i am..its the end of the year and my poor sweet cheap therapy has gone unused. Well no more...I have just seen Julie & Julia ( a fab movie) and if lil miss "look at me i'm cooking" can make a blog(and throw out her marriage) i can certainly make an attempt to write and maintain my piece of the INTERNET. I shall dust off my little BLIGDEAS folder (thats BIG BLOG IDEAS rolled into one) and pulla gem or two out. I have to focus. Which of course,is hard to do when you are writing a novel and working full time... Not to mention trying not to kill your father,brother,mother and teh rest of your self absorbed family.

While they are out making babies i shall do the nobler thing.... I shall educate. Or try to at least inform.


My grammar is horrible...my spelling deplorable...my views narrow minded violent and obscene but i can tell you one thing

I am honest.

I'm not here to make money,friends,or fame.

I am here to piss you off.

So fuck it all and on with the show.